Left, left, left, oh he's cute-- right, left, left, right, right, left, oh's he looks like my ex--LEFT, oh look he has a dog-- that means he's sensitive and is ready for marriage and a house in the suburbs-- SUPER RIGHT-- wait how does this super like button work anyway?
A couple matches here, a few "hey how's it going?" there, a couple more flirty pick up lines, and of course--
I definitely give this dude some credit. I did chuckle, a lot . *chest bump*
As I'm swiping, I come across a picture of a guy laying with his dog-- the tattoo on right arm catches my attention. Seems interesting enough, every girl likes a bad boy with tattoos. Let's look some more. He's outdoorsy, he hikes, he's easy on the eyes, and low and behold-- he's a climber. He's 33-- and the words he chose to describe himself in 500 characters is, "Don't waste my time with "watch me on webcam" I'm just going to unmatch you." Cute, arrogant, and he can spell. I think I found a winner. RIGHT!
We strike up a conversation- from what we had in store for weekend, to climbing, to the fact that he doesn't like pumpkin spice lattes-- or pumpkin anything for the matter. Hey, you can't have everything. For the next few days, we became pen pals. We'd ask how each other's days were going, and if one of us had something going on-- the other would ask about it. We decided we'd meet up for drinks that Thursday-- and the conversations kept flowing.
R and I met up at a patio bar around 9-ish. He got there before I did and was already sitting at a hightop having a beer when I got there. I walked over, he stood up to greet me with a crooked grin and the only thing that ran through my head was, "This is eventually going to end horribly, but it's going to be a damn good ride." He's just that guy. The one with the perfectly imperfect hair, a smile that hides mysterious tales, and eyes that will pierce right through you.
Needless to say, our first date was incredible. We talked and laughed over a couple of beers. Attached to the patio bar was human sized checkers, chess, and Jenga. He self proclaimed Jenga King- so I wanted to give him a run for his money. We cheered and taunted each other, all in-between passionate kisses. I normally do not kiss on the first date, but sometimes-- you gotta break the rules. Live a little right?
I learned he's 1 of 5 children, former military, has lived and climbed all over the world, currently in school for environmental science, and is also a cross-fit coach. *drools*
3 days later, we meet at a bookstore/restaurant/bar in the city for our 2nd date. Another incredible date in the books (no pun intended). Dinner, books, a walk around the city, drinks, and a conclusion that we both want to spend the rest of the night together.
(*Disclaimer-- This is the first time that I've been on my own, in my own place. Up until this point, I haven't brought a guy to my place that I wasn't exclusively seeing. There was only my ex, but my place was still under construction with heaps of dust and no furniture. And I wanted to do it, something that I can check off the list of things you should do in your 20's. Bring a guy home.)
ACT I: Scene 1
Standing on the sidewalk-- kissing and giggling.
Me: So where do want to go? Another drink? Walk some more?
R: We can do either- all I know is that I want to spend the rest of the night with you.
Me: Smooth buddy. Oh yeah?
R: Yes.
Me: errr… uhhh … hmmm .. errr…. what the heck do I do? Should I? Should I not? Is he looking to just hook up?
R: Tell me what you're thinking.
Me: Damn it- I hate that I'm that readable. Well, I just need to ask you something then.
R: Tell me.
Me: Are you looking to just hook up and have fun? Oh my gosh, did I just say that out loud? I didn't have that much to drink …
R: Legit question. No, I'm not looking to just hook up.
Me: Of course you're gonna say that. Errr … uhhh … hmmm… errr … my mother would kill me if she found out.
R: It's up to you. I'll be okay with anything. *kisses my forehead*
Me: errr … uhhh … hmmm… errr … get a freakin' hold of yourself. You're a grown ass woman, and if you want to do something… do it. YOLO.
R: *smiles*
Me: Do you have a coin? I can't believe I'm doing this.
R: Seriously? … Yeah, I do.
Me: Heads is a yes, tails is a no. I can't believe that I'm using a coin to decide how my Saturday night is going to end.
R: *Flips a quarter*
Heads.
END SCENE
ACT II: Scene 1
3 days later, 9 o'clock in the evening, my kitchen, with Ben E. King's- 'Stand By Me' on in the background.
Me: You bought me a spatula?
R: You told me you didn't own one.
Me: I don't think my house has ever smelled this good. Finally, my kitchen is being used.
R: Steps over and kisses me. Dinner will be ready soon. You want to set the table and bring the wine over?
Me: Absolutely. He's standing in my kitchen- in his gym clothes- with his perfectly imperfect hair- cooking me dinner-- singing and smiling. Is this the way it works? I could have sworn I'd never see him again. What does this mean?
END SCENE
ACT III: Scene 1:
3 days after that, Halloween night, a Cuban restaurant in the city, I'm dressed as a Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte, 6 people sitting at a table with mojitos in hand.
R: This is my sister Karen**, her boyfriend, and Karen's friends.
Me: *shakes everyone hand* Nice to meet everyone.
Karen: You're a Starbucks cup-- too cute!
I met his sister, exactly 1 week after I took him home. What does this mean?
END SCENE
ACT III: Scene 2:
Later on in the night, at another bar. Random guy walks into the bar with a supposedly super wicked costume, because all the testosterone in the room goes crazy.
R: You don't know who that guy is? I'll show you. Pulls out his phone and half covers the screen. Types in his password. Password memorized. There's a text on there that is from Molly. Quickly closes the text. Shows me who super wicked costume guy's character is.
Me: Acts mildly interested in what he's showing me. Its past midnight- who is texting him at this time?
R: I'm going to go outside for a smoke. Puts his phone back inside jacket pocket. Leaves jacket with me. Half the table goes for a smoke. The remaining are on their phones.
Me: Timing couldn't be more perfect. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. But those 4 drinks I just had are telling me other wise. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't it.
Molly: Lol. Have a good Halloween.
Scroll up, skim, skim, scroll up. If he walks back in and sees what I'm doing …
Molly: What are you doing tonight?
R: I'm hanging out with my sister.
Scroll, scroll, scroll.
R: Stuck in traffic. I'll cook for you Monday night.
What the fuck?! Is he some sort of traveling chef?!
Puts phone back.
END SCENE
ACT III: Scene 3:
On the way back to my place after parting ways with his sister and friends. His sister and I exchanged phone numbers.
Me: R, what are you doing on Monday night? Totally taking advantage of his drunkenness.
R: Uh school, work, maybe busy? Why?
Me: Nothing, nevermind.
R: No, tell me.
Me: Just wanted to see if you wanted to do something. But if you're busy-- no worries.
R: I can definitely try to make that work.
Me: So, R- can I ask you something?
R: Yup.
Me: Are you just looking to hook up and have fun? Or are you looking to see where this goes and what potential it has?
R: The latter of the 2.
Me: Hmmm. Are you seeing other people? That's fine if you are. I think I may be catching feelings- so if you are-- then I'll act accordingly.
R: No, I'm not. I like you- a lot. And I want to continue spending time with you. I'm a simple man- I don't spend time with people I don't want to be around. And if you haven't noticed, I deleted my Tinder account.
Me: You did? When? What, you're gonna decide between me and Molly?
R: A few days ago.
Me: Mmmhmm. Noted. Let me know by Monday morning if you still want to do something.
R: Of course.
Why did I go through his phone?! Now I'm going to want to check it again. And see if he follows through on Monday. Damn it.
END SCENE
ACT IV: Scene 1
Last night, 9 o'clock, my kitchen, Sam Cooke's- 'Wonderful World' on in the background.
R: Come smell this. Stirs the pot of red vodka sauce.
Me: Walks over for a sniff. Oh my gosh. I think I found nirvana.
R: Kisses me on the forehead. Dinner is ready. Smiles and brings the bowls to the table. Grab the wine.
END SCENE
ACT V: Scene 1
6:30am alarm rings. He hits snooze. 6:35 alarm rings. Snooze again. 6:40 alarm rings. He gets up, kisses me, and puts his phone back on the nightstand.
Me: Do you want coffee?
R: That would be great. Water starts in the bathroom.
Me: Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it.
First text on his list of messages: Molly.
Molly: Italian!!
Scroll, skim, scroll, skims. Sunday night. Something that seems like a family emergency on Molly's side.
R: It will be alright. It's important that you're with your family.
Scroll, skim, scroll.
R: I thought you were coming home Monday or Tuesday.
Molly: Maybe Tuesday, definitely not tomorrow.
Scroll, skim, scroll.
Molly: I'm so hungover.
Shit, did the water shut off? No, no it's still on. Scroll back down. Scroll, scroll, scroll.
R: So hungry.
Molly: Do you have food at home?
R: I'm having dinner with my sister tonight.
Molly: Have a good dinner with your sister!
Water shuts off.
Puts phone back on nightstand.
ACT V: Scene 2
10 minutes later, pouring his coffee into a tumbler. Why did I look through his phone? Instant regret. He didn't lie to me. He lied to her. Didn't he tell me that he was hanging out with his sister last week sometime? Why can't he just tell me the truth? Should I keep seeing him? Arms distance?
R: Kisses my forehead.
Me: I leave next week to go out west. Am I going to see you before then?
R: What day do you leave?
Me: Tuesday.
R: Definitely. Of course.
Me: Hands him his coffee, smiles. Have a great day today.
END SCENE
**names have been changed, except for clever Orion.
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